Even if we do nothing, we are doing something. Take a stand!
Symone, Masakhane Sex Educator
That queer moment when you’re not sure if you want to be them or fuck them
Some of the manliest men I’ve ever seen
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
— Krishnamurti (via lazyyogi)
10 BETTER BODY AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOUNG WOMEN
1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.
2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.
3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.
4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.
5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.
6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.
7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.
8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.
9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.
10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.
Let’s talk about #8 on this list for just a moment. While a lot of items on this list are useful reminders to people across the board, not just young women, sometimes these otherwise totally dope, kind-hearted “you are beautiful” pieces get a bit biologically essentialist. No, we are not saying go on a diet or don’t ever work out ever (unless you feel like it! That’s your business, and this is just text on a computer screen. We’re not the boss of you.) It’s just important to note that “you are terrific the way you are right now” does not mean “so never, ever change it.”
Some of the rhetoric of “you are perfect just the way you are” can be unhelpful to those realizing the way they are makes them massively uncomfortable, or on a less dysphoric scale, those who want to alter the shit out of their bodies. (Tattoos, piercings, any kind of sport-centric physical training, etc.) Which is why #9 trumps.
If your body is telling you certain parts or actions aren’t your cup of tea, listen. Listen to what makes you uncomfortable and what makes you feel good. Change what you want to change, and understand that wanting to alter something about yourself isn’t the same as ~~not loving yourself enough~~ You can love another person with all your heart and still dislike how they never remember to wash their dishes, and you can love your friends and sorta hate that all they listen to is electro-swing. Similarly, you can love your body without loving every last inch of flesh and muscle and bone and squishy liquid that you’re comprised of. That’s totally valid. Nobody likes everything about them all the time. That would be madness, and that’s not the point.
Like #1 says, your body is in a constant state of flux. Some of that is done by time and nature. Some of that is done by hair stylists or dermatologists or surgeons. The important part is you being happy with who you are, and sometimes that means altering what’s “natural” about you.
And c’mon, “natural?” We use crazy chemicals in our shampoos and soaps and shave highly specific parts of ourselves —armpits? Really? Why? So when people go around babblin’ about how trans people or queers are doing something “unnatural” to themselves, remind them that they’re communicating with you via a small metal box filled with wires that, until Google finally takes over and surgically implants Google Glass in our corneas, is about as unnatural as you can get. “Natural” is not synonymous with “good” or “normal.”
Sometimes, frankly, you need external affirmation to feel good about your body, or at least certain areas of your body. And that’s great. We’re humans, and we made technology and medicine and microwavable chicken nuggets to help us achieve our dreams. If we left everything up to what was “natural,” we’d all be dead from plague and measles. And it’s tough to maintain an aesthetically appealing corpse, y’know?